The Joy of the Journey
Why season 2024 means more than just wins and losses
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HI contributor NAT MARTIN offers some much needed perspective ahead of tomorrow’s finals-shaping game against the Blues.
As sports fans, we are increasingly falling into the American world of ‘Rings Culture’. Nothing matters unless you win the flag/championship/title. You may as well finish 18th than 2nd in the eyes of many, particularly in this cesspool of troll Twitter/X sport accounts that are all too frequent these days.
In my younger years (early 20s) especially, I was particularly guilty of this — it did help that we won the flag or played in a Grand Final every year from when I was 19 to 23.
As Hawthorn supporters — due to the wonderfully successful run that we have been on in the last 50 years — we love to remind everyone how many flags we’ve won. Bloody hell, I made hay while the sun shone. No wonder people are worried we’ll come good again — they're understandably sick of us.
This year, more than any other I have come to appreciate the joy of the journey, and the moments that sport can bring us. While the ultimate goal of any sports team is obviously to win it all and we are rightly setting ourselves to do that, this year I have gotten more pure joy out of watching sport than I have in a very long time — and it’s now looking unlikely (if not impossible) that we will even grace September.
#AlwaysHawthorn
Hawthorn have always been a major part of my life, and part of who I am. As soon as my father (who grew up in a majority Essendon family) donned the number 26 jumper of local hero Peter Hudson in the Hobart streets in the late 1960s, I — as his first-born son — never had a chance.
Since as early as I can remember, the players who wear the brown and gold each weekend in winter have had a hold on me. I lined up at Northgate Shopping Centre in the northern suburbs of Hobart for three hours in late 1999 to get my hero Shane Crawford’s autograph the year he won the Brownlow. I cried as an eight-year-old after Trent Croad’s poster in the 2001 prelim. Watched in awe as a young Buddy Franklin kicked his first bag of six at York Park against Richmond in 2006. You get the picture.
Sport and footy, in particular — when you think about it logically — shouldn't really matter. Why are we so emotionally invested in watching a group of people the vast majority of us don't know personally chase a ball around? It has no impact on the path we choose in life, where we work, where we live, the health of our families.
But, the beauty of sport is it does. It has the power to make you completely lose yourself in a moment. To bring people from all walks of life — with all sorts of backgrounds, views, beliefs together for a common goal — watching our boys (and now girls) beat the other mob. It is a beautiful distraction from the increasing terrors in the world around us. There has been no year I have needed that more than this year.
Why it does matter
I have had mental health struggles to various degrees since my late teens. They would often come in episodes and would often peak at times of high stress in study, my own football, and work — where I'd often put ridiculous expectations and standards on myself.
In September/October 2023 — after two years of very good mental wellbeing — my world felt like it fell apart overnight, completely without warning. I fell into what could only be described as a nervous breakdown. After several weeks and months of psychology and psychiatrist appointments I ended up being diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. This also coincided with the birth of our beautiful now eight-month-old daughter Ruby in November, and morphed in various ways into postnatal depression.
Without going into it too much, it’s bloody hard. OCD isn’t like it’s presented in the media. At all. It’s got nothing to do with being clean or organised.
It’s not the mental state I wanted to be in, both for my wife and my daughter when my first child came into the world, but it’s the cards I've been dealt. I don’t want any sympathy or anyone to feel like I'm ‘special’. So many people go through this. I’m going so much better now, but I still don’t feel like I'm fixed, and I may never be fully fixed. Having a chronic mental illness is something I still deal with every day, and some days are harder than others.
Obviously, my wife, daughter and my family are my reason for being and my number one source of strength and support. This goes without saying.
A season to remember
However, sport has mattered to me this year a lot. I am just so thankful and grateful for this Hawthorn season. We won’t win the flag this year, but who cares? The last 15 or so weeks from the Dogs game onwards have been so much fun.
There are times when I've had real shit days or weeks, and turning into these young, brash, exciting Hawks who are themselves having the time of their lives has given me joy. It had made my brain switch off from catastrophising worst-case scenarios or attacking me for two hours and given me a break to enjoy in what this team is building.
Since we’ve been on this run, I have looked forward to every game we have played. Who would’ve thought after Sydney walloped us in Round 7 that we would’ve got to experience what we have?
Who could forget Calsher Dear’s debut goal against the Dogs or Sicily’s sealer with a popped shoulder? The poise we showed to keep attacking against Brisbane the week after the devastatingPort loss? The 3rd quarter avalanche against the Crows (twice!)? The performance in Dusty’s 300th on the biggest stage of all? Wiz’s goal in Tassie against Freo? And then there was Collingwood. My god how good was Collingwood?
As I said to my great mate Danny Prins in the Frank Grey Smith bar at the G after that game — that's was the most fun I've had at a day at the footy since I could remember.
There aren’t many fanbases that will have a more enjoyable day at the footy in 2024. It was a big occasion, against a big opponent and it was a big performance. It felt like we were back. And this is something that should be savoured in the moment and appreciated.
I don’t know what’s going to happen in the remaining three weeks. I would of course absolutely love for us to win all three (and results go our way), and for this group to experience a finals series.
However, if we don’t, that’s also OK too.
Because this year watching this team, the way they play the game and are growing — has given me a lot of joy at times when I've needed it.
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Hey Nat, this was a truly wonderful read and a deeply touching personal story which must have taken some intestinal fortitude to write and then hit submit! As a practising GP for over 2 decades, I have seen all the ghoulies with mental health in all shapes and sizes. Importantly, as you well know, you are not alone. The secret sauce to staying healthy is exactly what you have done - sought help, surrounded yourself by a good team both medical and at home, and keeping mindful, active and busy. Keep up the great work. Regardless of how the Hawks go, you can keep going strong because as it was eloquently said in the spaces recently it's a marathon, not a sprint! All the best for your journey ahead and hopefully we can share a drink on the 28th!
I echo your sentiments, from struggles with mental health, to raising a young child, to appreciating and enjoying this wonderful club, to not worrying too much if we make the finals or not. I enjoyed last year immensely as well for much the same reasons, but this year's been even better. I've had some absolutely joyous moments this year.
Thank you so much for sharing your extremely well-written story.